The Boundary

Have you ever gone "over the line?" or felt that somebody else "crossed the line" when they said something or did something to you? Maybe that person did not do something directly to you, but to somebody you knew. But whatever the reason, suddenly you were offended and you reacted. Reactions for me come in all shapes and sizes. Recently, I learned a life lesson.

It comes from Romans 12:18 which basically amounts to this:

Whatever you do, and whatever anybody else does to you, try your best to manage your end of things. Try your best not to fight when somebody else starts it, and try your best not to start any fights.

Although Paul's letter to the Romans does not say it in so many words, I think that's basically what it means: try to avoid fighting and arguments.

I found another interesting quote last year: "The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress." Joseph Joubert, a French moral philosopher who lived between 1754 and 1824 said that.

What I try to live in the verse from Romans holds me to a very high standard, one that I cannot follow myself. But what if I do fail? I guess that's where the second quote comes in. Nothing I fight over should be anything that is not worth fighting over. And I should not be fighting to get the last word, or to be the winner. I think Paul would agree that I should be fighting to make a situation better, not worse.

The life lesson I learned recently is this: anybody might "cross the line," by doing or saying something offensive, but the inverted life is one where I can choose to move my personal boundaries. This has changed my part of what I think it means to forgive.